Don't you just hate spoilers? I do, too. That's why I always try to include warnings. However, I sometimes ramble a bit too much here or there and maybe a few (or many) key plot points slip without me giving proper notice. So I'd like to include a blanket spoiler warning for the weary internet travelers of the world: Here There Be Spoilers. You've been warned.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Adult Swim Under Fire

First of all read this fantastic research piece:

Now let me ramble a bit, if you will...

I don't watch a lot of television anymore. Instead I stream the shit out of my Roku. However, I'll always have a bit of a soft spot in my heart for Cartoon Network (mostly Toonami) and Adult Swim. Even though I haven't exactly agreed with a lot of their programming choices and as a result a lot of the shows I used to love got transferred over to the Boomerang channel. 

I am 23 years old and not a child anymore, though. I'm not Cartoon Network's target audience anymore, either. I'm also not a parent. I guess you could say that this puts me firmly in the "fence-riding" category of inappropriate content. I am in Adult Swim's target audience, though. I could care less how inappropriate some folks think some of the shows on Adult Swim are because I loved a lot of that inappropriate stuff when I was younger and it didn't harm me. Of course, there are a lot of kids less awesome than I was in this world and you poor parents have my sympathies. 

I think that if you don't let your child watch things you think are inappropriate then it's your job as a parent to find programming that is appropriate for them. Period. You don't have to be friends with your kid. Lay down the law and hope they respect you for it later on. Sure, they'll always find inappropriate content online or from their friends unless you choose to keep your kids living in a giant bubble or something. Parenting is doing what you feel is necessary to keep your child out of trouble and prepping them for adulthood. 

And if saying no to shows on Cartoon Network or Adult Swim is what you think is best then go for it. 

Just know that as a kid I watched violent cartoons and horror movies, wrote violent poems, and listened to evil music and there's no way in hell I could have survived childhood living with some tyrant bible-beating parents. I typically don't like those types of parents. Still, how somebody raises their kids isn't my business. 

However... there are certain awareness groups that think it is their job to raise your children by telling you what's bad and certain parents lazy and dumb enough to let them do so. This is something I can't stand. I, as a human being, don't like violence in real life. I hate violence and I've successfully evaded fighting ever since childhood. I'm a pacifist. That being said, if it's just entertainment, then bring on the buckets of blood because I'm smart enough to know it's all bullshit and sane enough to not go on a killing spree because of it. 

Kids are smart, too, folks. Smarter than we are and they can be even smarter with just the right amount of guidance and wisdom and a good work ethic to help them along. Thing is, that guidance isn't always there. The majority of television these days screams of entitlement and poor decision-making. From the shit reality TV shows and even to sporting events. A lot of people just want to be famous and make a lot of fucking money by doing as little work as possible. And that's bullshit logic. When you let your kid watch whatever they want this is the kind of shit they will get exposed to and those same kids will probably end up being lazy and looking for easy ways to make money. It happens all the time. 

So Cartoon Network should seem like a safe channel to let your kid watch, right?

Well, apparently, there's this group called the PTC that is trying to come down hard on the Adult Swim side of Cartoon Network. By expanding to an earlier hour, Adult Swim has come under some fire. Again. This group has decided that Family Guy, King of the Hill, The Cleveland Show, and that anime stuff are far too evil for little children to watch. Far too evil. If you let a child watch that you'll turn them into an antichrist or an abortioning-approving homosexual. Either way they surely amount to the same thing. This group would much rather you make them watch episodes of Duck Dynasty, Law & Order SVU (nevermind, too libby), or the FOX News channel (Now we're talkin'). You know, wholesome entertainment for the whole family. 

I don't get the rage. I mean, the section of late night TV on Cartoon Network is called Adult Swim and it has been around for a decade. Shouldn't be no secret at this point. It's prime time gold even though it's not something heavily advertised and it is expanding. So what? It is the job of the parents to make sure their children avoid watching it if that is how uptight they choose to be. I won't judge them for it. Parenting is a job and it's something you do 24/7. You can't just let your television raise your child when you don't want to or let other people bully you into thinking their way about raising them. A little bit of effort and shows with a mature rating or questionable content will vanish off your child's television. It's called parental block. Learn how to use it. Getting rid of channels that show children shows for most of the day isn't really the answer. 

But if parental block is too much of a pain and if you really think Family Guy will fuck your kid up that much then turn the TV off and play a card game or something. Do family bonding things. Tell humorous stories about how stupid you were when you were a child. Maybe about that time your dad caught you looking at a porno mag or about the time your mom caught you masterbating on your sister's panties. Teach them how to drink and drive since that will probably be a life skill they will need at some point. Whatever floats your boat, really. I won't judge you. Parents always make right decisions because they knew what it meant to be raised the right way by their own parents. 

Just don't let those annoying little bastard children watch Family Guy because that will really corrupt them. Get rid of Cartoon Network and every other station that plays it before midnight, period. They are not worth paying for. Trust me, they'll much prefer watching copious amounts of internet porn and you will too because porn on the internet is free. And the best things in life are free and easy and require little effort and time from you. See, I bet you feel much better now. 

1 comment:

  1. It's got the word Adult in the freaking title. I'm not sure why this is a problem. I understand parents wanting to shield their kids from certain things but when the programing has Adult in the title, that should tell them all they need to know.

    I really hate when things I like get diluted because of crap like this. Ever buy a cd and then find out you got a "clean" version. Pisses me off.