Don't you just hate spoilers? I do, too. That's why I always try to include warnings. However, I sometimes ramble a bit too much here or there and maybe a few (or many) key plot points slip without me giving proper notice. So I'd like to include a blanket spoiler warning for the weary internet travelers of the world: Here There Be Spoilers. You've been warned.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

In response to "The Loss"

Well, here I am. I haven't made any entries in a while and I would be remiss if I didn't try to post something. I really don't want to talk about football right now but there is this huge elephant standing in the room and it's not like it will go away any time soon.

Here's the type of Alabama fan I am: I don't want to watch knuckle-biting games or dramatic second half comebacks. I want to watch forty-point maulings. I want the teams that play Bama to feel like they've been ran over twenty times by a Mac truck and then buried in the Pet Sematary only to be ran over again after they've been zombified.

Of course, things don't always happen that way. The game against LSU is a good example.

But I would rather Bama have lost to those purple and yellow teletubbies than to A&M. My reasoning is a bit perverse, but a real simple one. The LSU Tigers have a history here in the SEC and a rivalry with Alabama that goes back a long time. LSU is an SEC team and one Bama knows inside and out no matter who is coaching or playing.

Texas A&M is not. Who the hell is Johnny Football? Who is their coach? Beats the hell outta me. They still have the stench of the Big 12 on them to me. I'm a spoiled brat and a sore loser, but they should be getting humbled in the very worst way in the West and not royally screwing the SEC out of a National Championship by knocking off the Number One team. I mean, like we all really want to watch Kansas State vs. Oregon or Kansas State vs. Notre Dame. If an SEC team isn't in it then why would I watch it? It'd be like watching a Redskins-Patriots Super Bowl. Might as well be watching a movie.

Of course, every team wants to win. And in a very perverse way the pride of the team is more important than the pride of the SEC. But every SEC fan with any sense will tell you they want an SEC team playing in the big game. So the entire thing is a bit of a contradiction because if your team is playing the number one and knocking them off means no National Championship for the SEC... why the hell would you want to knock them off?

But that's just how we roll and many other conferences probably feel the same.

Now, had LSU beaten Alabama last week than we'd likely have the same scenario, but I'd feel better about it because LSU is an SEC team and they were a higher ranked one than A&M at the time.

I don't know Texas A&M. I know even less about them than I know about Michigan or Notre Dame.

And they beat my team, goddamn it.

And the fuckers in charge of the SEC let them in.

In short: Stop this expansion bullshit.

Or, better yet, let's kick these new fuckers out and go back to the way it should be.

But all hope is not lost. If two of the top three teams lose a game then Bama is in. So I've just become the biggest Texas, USC, and Stanford fan you'll ever meet in your life. My hopes are in their hands. A lot less has to happen this year compared to last year. Last year Boise State, Stanford, and Oklahoma State all had to bite the big one for Bama to get a shot. Now we just need two to go down.

If Bama can win out and get lucky and those teams go down than all is forgiven.

But if not... this SEC expansion will be the biggest boneheaded move I've seen since the call at the end of the Seahawks-Packers game.


  1. There is always danger lurking the week after a huge win against an arch rival. There is an inevitable letdown waiting. The one team ahead of Bama in BSC that you have to worry about is Notre Dame. Not because of talent but because historically, Notre Dame will get every break possible in the rankings (spoken from a life long Notre Dame hater).

    What the hell happened to Alabama's D the past two weeks? They were so dominant all season and then these past couple of weeks gave up a ton of yards.

    1. I honestly don't know what happened to the D. My brain starts hurting when I think about it and I find myself developing a nervous twitch over my right eye. Best not to think about it lest bad things happen.

      Oh, I hate Notre Dame, too. Maybe not as much as I hate Michigan, but it's pretty close. My dad essentially said the same thing about Notre Dame as well. I figure my best chance is to hope Oregon and Kansas State lose because Notre Dame have the luck of the devil.

      Either way, Bama's defense (and offense) better get its act together. They still have to beat Auburn (who will undoubtedly play their best game of the year) and Georgia in the SEC Championship.

  2. You're not old enough to remember the Notre Dame glory years of the 70s and 80s but your dad and I do and we both will probably say the same thing. It use to take two losses for Notre Dame to drop from number 1. In the 70s, Alabama and Notre Dame had quite a few struggles for the top spot and in the 80's, Miami and Notre Dame did (Bama was in that mix some too). The Miami one was particularly fierce because they used to play each other every year back then and nothing got under my skin more than a one loss Notre Dame team being ranked higher than an undefeated Hurricane team. One of my favorite Jimmy Johnson moments was him running up the score on Notre Dame in 1985, 58-7 and being defiantly unapologetic about it. So, come on USC!